As part of my new start I have once again delved into internet dating sites. I have done this before with very little luck. This time however I sent a contact request and was pleasantly surprised to get a reply. We chatted for a a while, he seemed very nice and he obviously thought I was too as very quickly I got a "how about a date?" message. Hooray! I thought and said that would be nice. We chatted again the following day and continued to get on well, finding mutual interests and common points of view. For the first time in a long time I was actually excited about the prospect of a date and meeting this man.
Then the bombshell fell. He sent me a test saying he wouldn't be able to meet me now because he and his ex had decided to get back together. Turns out that their split was very recent (within a week) and they'd decided to give things another go.
Now to be fair, he did apologise for "messing me about" but if their split was that recent, why was he, for want of a better word, advertising himself online already? No harm done. I had invested little time. But I was very disappointed. So here is my small plea ... if you are online, please make sure you are actually available and are not still attached to your ex. This is very unfair to those of us who are actually seeking a relationship.
Showing posts with label my life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my life. Show all posts
Wednesday, 19 June 2013
Wednesday, 12 June 2013
Starting Again
I resigned. I have decided not to teach for a while. The trouble is ... what now? I have ideas but things are not yet running smoothly in that direction. I need to find a job. At the moment pretty much any job.
I never expected to be in my thirties and having to start again.
I never expected to be in my thirties and having to start again.
Wednesday, 5 December 2012
No escape
It finally happened. Something had to give and it happened to be me. I am currently signed off work with stress.
At the moment the thought of returning to work makes me want to hide and/or burst into tears. If I think about work for too long it makes me feel physically shaky. I have been told it could take up to 6 weeks for the anti-anxiety medication I have been prescribed to take full effect. I have done my best to make sure I don't just hide at home during this time and have I tried to go out somewhere almost every day. The trouble is my job is following me around.
Yesterday I bumped into a lovely neighbour who, knowing I was off work, asked how I was and then asked "You will be going back though won't you?". I also saw the parent of someone I went to school with. She asked why I wasn't at work and was extremely sympathetic when I explained, but she also followed it with, "But you'll be going back after Christmas won't you?" To both these people I said "Yes", but the truth is I have no idea. At the moment I can't face it and I definitely can't go back to things as they were but I also now feel a little pressure to go back to work, this is obviously what people are expecting.
Today my bubbly friend came to pick me up and take me out for lunch for a girly chat and relax. We went to a quiet pub near to my house and a long way away from where I work. It should have been lovely but it was neither lovely nor relaxing. Whilst there I was spotted by a parent of a child in my class who knows I am off sick but does not know why. She did not speak to me or ask how I was but did send her partner round to the table my friend and I were at to look and see if it was me. Within 10 minutes of her leaving I had a phone call from my Headteacher, checking in with me to see how I am and how I was spending my time. I'd like to believe this is a coincidence but I know it isn't. I'm also certain that the rumour mill that I already know exists outside the classroom door at the beginning and end of the day will have been in overdrive this afternoon.
A big part of my problem is that my job has taken over my whole life and now, even when I am officially signed off work by my doctor, there is still no escape. I'm very worried that all the parents will now think I'm skiving and I feel guilty for going out with my friend. She was great and said that they need to understand that some illnesses you can't see and just because you're not in bed doesn't mean you're not ill. I know she is right but I also know that the parents won't see it that way.
At the moment the thought of returning to work makes me want to hide and/or burst into tears. If I think about work for too long it makes me feel physically shaky. I have been told it could take up to 6 weeks for the anti-anxiety medication I have been prescribed to take full effect. I have done my best to make sure I don't just hide at home during this time and have I tried to go out somewhere almost every day. The trouble is my job is following me around.
Yesterday I bumped into a lovely neighbour who, knowing I was off work, asked how I was and then asked "You will be going back though won't you?". I also saw the parent of someone I went to school with. She asked why I wasn't at work and was extremely sympathetic when I explained, but she also followed it with, "But you'll be going back after Christmas won't you?" To both these people I said "Yes", but the truth is I have no idea. At the moment I can't face it and I definitely can't go back to things as they were but I also now feel a little pressure to go back to work, this is obviously what people are expecting.
Today my bubbly friend came to pick me up and take me out for lunch for a girly chat and relax. We went to a quiet pub near to my house and a long way away from where I work. It should have been lovely but it was neither lovely nor relaxing. Whilst there I was spotted by a parent of a child in my class who knows I am off sick but does not know why. She did not speak to me or ask how I was but did send her partner round to the table my friend and I were at to look and see if it was me. Within 10 minutes of her leaving I had a phone call from my Headteacher, checking in with me to see how I am and how I was spending my time. I'd like to believe this is a coincidence but I know it isn't. I'm also certain that the rumour mill that I already know exists outside the classroom door at the beginning and end of the day will have been in overdrive this afternoon.
A big part of my problem is that my job has taken over my whole life and now, even when I am officially signed off work by my doctor, there is still no escape. I'm very worried that all the parents will now think I'm skiving and I feel guilty for going out with my friend. She was great and said that they need to understand that some illnesses you can't see and just because you're not in bed doesn't mean you're not ill. I know she is right but I also know that the parents won't see it that way.
Wednesday, 23 May 2012
Beautiful Beliefs 1
I believe that ...
being polite and having generally good manners is important. Saying please and thank you seems to be going out of fashion which saddens me.
From being very small we were encouraged and expected to use these simple phrases in our everyday lives. Being polite was and IS important. These simple words make a huge difference to how we perceive others and to how we are perceived.
At a dance rehearsal recently I assisted a young man (aged about 11ish I think) with his costume. I held onto his masks and cape so they were ready when he needed them and assisted him when he managed to get a huge knot in his cape tie. He was delightful and charming and at every given opportunity he said thank you to me (and with a huge smile) and when his co-star was struggling he came and said please could I help her, which, of course, I did.
This shouldn't have been so out of the ordinary but it was. I noticed it because it was unusual. I had helped several children that day, he was the only one who consistently said please and thank you and is someone I would not hesitate to help again.
When shopping the other day I was in the queue behind an older gentleman. He had finished putting his shopping on the conveyor belt so had (as I would do) put the "next customer please" sign behind his shopping. I said "Thank you". He turned and looked at me, genuinely surprised by this response, smiled a huge smile and said "You're welcome." I smiled back and continued to put up my shopping. As he left he smiled at me, nodded and said "Goodbye". I reciprocated. This was a very minor exchange, nothing in the great scheme of conversation, but both of us had our tedious shopping trips brightened by politeness and manners.
What an easy, cost free way to bring a little joy and make someone smile.
(This is linked to Amy Palko's Beautiful Beliefs project)
being polite and having generally good manners is important. Saying please and thank you seems to be going out of fashion which saddens me.
From being very small we were encouraged and expected to use these simple phrases in our everyday lives. Being polite was and IS important. These simple words make a huge difference to how we perceive others and to how we are perceived.
At a dance rehearsal recently I assisted a young man (aged about 11ish I think) with his costume. I held onto his masks and cape so they were ready when he needed them and assisted him when he managed to get a huge knot in his cape tie. He was delightful and charming and at every given opportunity he said thank you to me (and with a huge smile) and when his co-star was struggling he came and said please could I help her, which, of course, I did.
This shouldn't have been so out of the ordinary but it was. I noticed it because it was unusual. I had helped several children that day, he was the only one who consistently said please and thank you and is someone I would not hesitate to help again.
When shopping the other day I was in the queue behind an older gentleman. He had finished putting his shopping on the conveyor belt so had (as I would do) put the "next customer please" sign behind his shopping. I said "Thank you". He turned and looked at me, genuinely surprised by this response, smiled a huge smile and said "You're welcome." I smiled back and continued to put up my shopping. As he left he smiled at me, nodded and said "Goodbye". I reciprocated. This was a very minor exchange, nothing in the great scheme of conversation, but both of us had our tedious shopping trips brightened by politeness and manners.
What an easy, cost free way to bring a little joy and make someone smile.
(This is linked to Amy Palko's Beautiful Beliefs project)
Thursday, 8 March 2012
Wondering
Sometimes I wonder if the grass is greener ...
I enjoy my job. I do. It gives me great pleasure to see the penny drop when a child learns he or she can do something they couldn't before, to listen to their conversations and to share their joy in the little things in life. Teaching young children is all I ever wanted to do (from the day I started school and met my first teacher - she was amazing).
However, recently I have been overwhelmed by how much my life has been taken over by my work. I knew before I trained that it was never going to be a 9 to 5 job. It never has been and never will be. Somehow it appears to have taken over my whole existence. When I'm not working I'm thinking about all the work I have to do that I've not done, thinking about particular children and how I can help them, worrying about whether what I have done is good enough. I wake up in the night thinking and worry about all these things. I'm exhausted.
I have wondered whether to change careers, something I never thought I'd wonder.
I have wondered whether to ask if I can go down to part time work and job share but I worry this will not be well received by the management team (I'm not sure I'm exhausted counts as a good reason) and I also wonder whether doing so would make any difference or whether I'd just have more hours to worry.
So I have been wondering a lot recently.
I enjoy my job. I do. It gives me great pleasure to see the penny drop when a child learns he or she can do something they couldn't before, to listen to their conversations and to share their joy in the little things in life. Teaching young children is all I ever wanted to do (from the day I started school and met my first teacher - she was amazing).
However, recently I have been overwhelmed by how much my life has been taken over by my work. I knew before I trained that it was never going to be a 9 to 5 job. It never has been and never will be. Somehow it appears to have taken over my whole existence. When I'm not working I'm thinking about all the work I have to do that I've not done, thinking about particular children and how I can help them, worrying about whether what I have done is good enough. I wake up in the night thinking and worry about all these things. I'm exhausted.
I have wondered whether to change careers, something I never thought I'd wonder.
I have wondered whether to ask if I can go down to part time work and job share but I worry this will not be well received by the management team (I'm not sure I'm exhausted counts as a good reason) and I also wonder whether doing so would make any difference or whether I'd just have more hours to worry.
So I have been wondering a lot recently.
Monday, 16 January 2012
Out of Character
This week I very nearly did something so out of character that I shocked myself.
I didn't do it but I really considered it.
Through events and circumstances beyond my control the opportunity seems now to have passed me by. I'm made up that these events happened as it has made the day of a new friend but I'm sad as it seems to have cost me this opportunity. I'm not sure whether I would have taken up the offer or not but now I'm not sure whether to be pleased or regret that I didn't. It offered the chance to step completely outside my comfort zone and be someone else for a while. That was exciting. I thought about it so much last night I couldn't sleep.
I think, quite literally now, the boat has sailed.
I, for reasons that escape me, feel sad and a little let down. I'm also a little concerned that I have left myself vulnerable. Is that good or bad?
I have fallen from the dizzy heights of newness and excitement and have dropped with a bump back into my very ordinary life. A missed new venture perhaps ...
I didn't do it but I really considered it.
Through events and circumstances beyond my control the opportunity seems now to have passed me by. I'm made up that these events happened as it has made the day of a new friend but I'm sad as it seems to have cost me this opportunity. I'm not sure whether I would have taken up the offer or not but now I'm not sure whether to be pleased or regret that I didn't. It offered the chance to step completely outside my comfort zone and be someone else for a while. That was exciting. I thought about it so much last night I couldn't sleep.
I think, quite literally now, the boat has sailed.
I, for reasons that escape me, feel sad and a little let down. I'm also a little concerned that I have left myself vulnerable. Is that good or bad?
I have fallen from the dizzy heights of newness and excitement and have dropped with a bump back into my very ordinary life. A missed new venture perhaps ...
Monday, 28 November 2011
Something different
This is a whole new thing for me. Just getting started really and thought I'd say hello!
Many changes have happened in my life recently - some I like, some I don't - but I have been shoved into doing lots of things differently. Well, "A change is as good as a rest" we are led to believe. (I am still reserving judgement on that).
I am a fan of smiling (and laughing). They are infectious and ought to be spread by as many people as possible. The smile poem is one of my favourites, I might just post it another time.
I am also a fan of manners and politeness - please and thank you cost nothing and mean a great deal. We shouldn't appear surprised when people say thank you, however I am increasingly aware that people seem to be confused when strangers thank them for simple everyday acts of kindness.
Anyway, that's enough for now I think. I have at least made a start on my new venture.
Bye for now. Speak to you soon!
Many changes have happened in my life recently - some I like, some I don't - but I have been shoved into doing lots of things differently. Well, "A change is as good as a rest" we are led to believe. (I am still reserving judgement on that).
I am a fan of smiling (and laughing). They are infectious and ought to be spread by as many people as possible. The smile poem is one of my favourites, I might just post it another time.
I am also a fan of manners and politeness - please and thank you cost nothing and mean a great deal. We shouldn't appear surprised when people say thank you, however I am increasingly aware that people seem to be confused when strangers thank them for simple everyday acts of kindness.
Anyway, that's enough for now I think. I have at least made a start on my new venture.
Bye for now. Speak to you soon!
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